Early Boundary Setting

No one explains so many areas when embarking on a blended family adventure. It is almost like a fun adventure where everyone loads into the car only to discover that no one brought luggage, GPS, or even the keys! The first several months and even years can be completely overwhelming. Most researchers agree that it takes 5-7 years for a blended family to feel comfortable with each other and operate somewhat smoothly. That is a long time of turmoil!

Do not lose heart! Your lives together can be better if you have the proper tools and knowledge and a partner willing to get in the trenches with you! Those first 5-7 years don't have to be miserable. They may be a struggle at times, but they still can be full of love and laughter. To be completely transparent, there were days when my husband and I almost threw in the towel. I hate to admit that! But we had no help, no knowledge, and little support. Thankfully, we had GOD! He is the one who gave us the wisdom and knowledge that got us through.

One key area is to establish clear boundaries prior to getting married—yes, even before the I dos. There may be new areas that come up after the vows, but try and think through as many as possible before the vows are said. Make sure to get a full understanding of where your partner stands and be transparent with where you stand. Compromise is key! I highly recommend reading the Boundaries Book by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.